Be Good Not Bad by Brian Warren

Cartoon Me Hi, I’m Brian. I like to design and build things. I try to be good, not bad.

mid-life crisis in-the-making

This Article was written by Aaron Orr, Watchtan’s part-time contributer.

My sister, Heather, sent me an email the other day, telling me some terrible news. It was the kind of news you read and think, “Geez, it’s a good thing I’m sitting.”

“WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!” I said to myself. It’s sick, it’s sad, it’s necessary, and it’s sad.

My sister and brother-in-law, Brian (not the Brian of watchtan.com fame), own a beautiful black Mustang Cobra. They’ve hardly driven it at all since buying it new two or three years ago and the leather seats have never been farted on. (Okay, I lie. I’ve ridden in it.)

But unfortunately they have decided to get rid of it. Why? Because they’re planning a mid-life crisis for Brian. He’s not due said crisis for at least another 10 to 20 years, but these are the same people who buy the super-mega-ultra-gigantic sized everything at Sam’s Club. They like to be prepared. So why not plan ahead and beat the rush?

But it gets worse. They’re planning to trade it in on a Ford Focus.

I don’t really have a beef with the Focus. It’s a decent, safe, relatively fun to drive car (not Cobra fun but acceptable suburban-type fun) that will be more accommodating of my niece and her car seat and myriad bags of diapers and whatnot than the two door Cobra.

But I can’t help thinking that selling the Cobra is like making reservations at Chez Crisis (_table for one, please_).

So, for the sake of Brian, and for the sake of not having to hear me say, “I told you so,” please, please buy the ZX4 ST model. It comes with the highest hp available and a 5-spd tranny. Besides, it might make it slightly less embarrassing when my AWD station wagon leaves you on the line.

Posted on 15 December, 2004 in Culture